PLACENTA TREE MIDWIFERY
A Natural Maternity Care, for a Natural Way of Birthing.
Does a Doula Replace the Father?
No! A labor doula can actually help facilitate a father's involvement and help them to stay more involved during this special time. 
Fathers are often able to participate more fully with a doula present. The top two fears that a father has surrounding pregnancy and birth are the worry about the safety of his unborn child and his partner. Much of that fear is gone when a doula is present because she can provide informational support about the labor as it progresses, and her calming influence allows the father to give the love and support that his partner needs to feel.
The presence of a doula complements a father's role and strengthens it. A doula often can give suggestions and encourage the father to touch, to talk, and to help in ways that feel truly comfortable to him and comforting to the mother.
Fathers, with the support of the doula, are able to participate at any level that feels right and natural for them. In this way, fathers can experience fully the joy and wonder of watching their babies come into the world.
The doula can help explain the process of labor and birth, which can be confusing and scary for dads.
The doula can help the mother to cope with labor pain, using her skills and experience. Helping to take some of the pressure off of the partner to do the "right" thing.
The father's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and irreplaceable. The love he shares with the mother and his child, along with his need to nurture and protect his family are things that only he can provide.
My goal is to work with the partner and the laboring mom to make lasting memories for your family!
What does a Dad/Doula partnership look like during labor?
Early labor at home: The doula can stay with the mother while the father takes care of last minute necessities, i.e, phoning friends, the hospital, and relatives, arranging childcare for siblings. If father needs to get gas for the car, pack the hospital bag, etc., the doula is available to stay and comfort mother.
The doula checks in with both father and mother to make sure they are eating and drinking well. Either the father or the doula can fix light snacks while the other provides support.
If mother wants to walk around the house or neighborhood, either the father or the doula can attend the mother while the other answers the phone or watches siblings.
At the hospital or birth center: Upon check in, the father will typically accompany his wife to triage (hospital setting) while the doula brings in the bags and sets up the room. The doula can locate the kitchenette, extra pillows and blankets, birth balls, and other necessities.
The doula introduces herself to your labor and delivery nurse, midwife or doctor, and lets them know about your birth plan.
If procedures or interventions are suggested, the doula can remind you of your options and alternatives. The doula offers informational support so father and mother can make decisions together. Typically, the father will discuss any decisions with the midwife or doctor, not the doula.
The doula can take a photo journal of the birth and include both mother and father.
Active labor, transition, and pushing: The doula and father can relieve each other for eating, bathroom breaks, etc..
A doula can help preserve a peaceful, private environment for the laboring couple. If family and friends are attending the birth, the doula can help organize the group so everyone has tasks appropriate for them. The doula can also run interference if someone becomes anxious or obtrusive.
The father will often provide the very close, physical support, especially if "back labor" is present, while the doula gently coaches him from the side or from behind. Sometimes two people are needed for relieving back labor pain, especially when using a "double hip" squeeze.
During pushing, the doula is often talking the mother through each contraction, allowing the father to watch the birth of his baby while holding the mother's hand or leg.
Cesarean Births :Immediately after the birth, the doula can stay with the mother while the incisions are repaired. This allows the father to be with the newborn while he/she is taken to the warming area for procedures.
After birth:The doula typically stays until the baby is latched on and the father has made whatever phone calls are necessary. The doula leaves soon after so that you may enjoy your new family.
Asking your husband to be your sole guide through labour is like asking him to lead the way on a climb of Mt. Everest. He may be smart and trustworthy, you may love him, but in the Himalayas, you'd both be better off with a Sherpa!" .... unknown
Fathers...
The father or partner, may be better able to provide continuous support but has little actual experience in dealing with the forces of labor. Even fathers who have had intensive preparation are often surprised at the amount of work involved (more than enough for two people). Even more important, many fathers experience the birth as an emotional journey of their own and find it hard to be objective in such a situation.
Will the Doula replace the father?
Some fathers or partners are concerned they may be sidelined or replaced by the Doula during labor. Although individual situations vary, and one should question a prospective doula about her philosophy, generally the answer to this question is no - she will not replace him. Studies have shown that fathers usually participate more actively during labor in the presence of a Doula than without one. A responsible Doula supports and encourages the father and enhances his support style rather than replaces him.
Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman
allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.
~~~Claudia Lowe
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My husband doesn't really want to be my primary labor support, but I really want him to be. I feel like it will bond us more as parents, and I'm afraid a doula will interfere with that.
A: Part of the beauty of having good professional labor support is that when the
father is relieved of the pressure to be a great doula, he can often do a better job of being a great husband and father. A good doula will spend time talking with you about how to support connection with your partner while she tends to your physical needs.
Q: My husband really wants to be my primary labor support, but he finds our birth classes boring.
Can we just watch a childbirth education video instead?
A: You deserve to have labor support that makes you feel completely cared for.
If your husband isn't paying attention at birth classes and making sure that you schedule time to practice coping techniques together, then he may not learn the skills necessary to provide good labor support. And if he finds the birth classes boring, I worry about his ability to remain fully present to you during a labor which might span two nights. It sounds as if you will be best supported by a professional doula in addition to your husband.
Q: My mother really wants to be at the birth, and I don't feel that I can say "No" to her.
A: This is the worst possible situation, and I have seen a couple of these situations that have resulted in a pathological retraction ring, requiring a c-section. If your mother is domineering with you, then how could you possibly feel comfortable releasing your baby into a situation where your mother might be domineering with your baby? Your baby deserves a confident mother who can make decisions that are best for the baby, even if your mother disapproves. A therapist can help you work through these issues and develop healthy boundaries with your mother, including telling her you want privacy at your birth.
